From the Head
Premise (from the CanLit generator): A recently retired RCMP officer researches the War Measures Act, which they then adopt as their own.
They gave me the keys to the castle.
Royal Canadian Mounted Police Act, Section 5.1: The Governor in Council may appoint an officer, to be known as the Commissioner of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, who has control of the Force and all matters connected with the Force.
Me. That was me.
That was mine.
Founded in tradition, fortified by innovation, we were the Red Wall, the pride of a nation, the—
…what’s that you say? The RCMP is archaic? It’s flawed? It’s my fault?
My friend, you are horribly mistaken.
My RCMP was a Force to be reckoned with. Why, just take a look at our Core Values: integrity, honesty, professionalism, compassion, respect, and accountability. Any clear-sighted man can—
…or woman, that was implied, man or woman. A full 21% of RCMP officers are women, you know, and they make unique contributions to—
…what about the 400-plus women who alleged sexual harassment in the workplace? I apologized for that, didn’t I? I admitted there was a culture of harassment and misuse of authority. I initiated a 37-step action plan and used my authority to fire bad apples. Bad apples being the harassers, of course. Not the complainers. I mean, victims.
Forget the bleeding hearts. When it came to police work, we were really top-notch. My Mounties always got their man—
…yes, I remember the 1,181 missing and murdered Aboriginal women and girls. We were pretty sure the perpetrators were mostly Aboriginal men, and even though I admitted there are racists on the Force who use excessive violence against Indigenous people, I assure you we took the matter very seriously. Very. Seriously.
Anyway, it’s not as if I misled anyone. My RCMP was nothing if not transparent. So transparent that I authorized the release of private medical information as part of a larger agenda, and I was informed every time an officer spoke to the Civilian Review and Complaints Commission. Not that I worried about complaints. 90% of them were rejected. And if the Commission went so far as to recommend a change, I was under no obligation to comply.
Hey, I wasn’t perfect, but who among us is blemish-free? It’s not like I had enough power to do everything I wanted. That’s the real problem with the RCMP: not lack of oversight, but lack of authority. As commissioner, bureaucracy tied my hands, but now that I’m retired, well…
There’s a better way.
War Measures Act, Section 6: The Governor in Council shall, by the existence of real or apprehended war, have the power to authorize such things as he may deem necessary for the security, defence, peace, order and welfare of Canada.
As he may deem necessary.
Suppression. Exclusion. Censorship, detention, arrest. I was on the right track.
And now I’m off the leash.
I swore an oath, you know. Preserve the peace. I’ll do it, too. As a fellow visionary once said…
Just watch me.